A message from Beata’s husband (client zero):
I have always taken quite a passive approach to change in life: going with the flow & not having unrealistic expectations of myself has got me through my younger life. Recently a change at work meant large numbers of our staff (including me) were deployed into a totally different line of business.
I “went with the flow” but soon found I was out of my depth. My performance ratings nose-dived and I was basically working myself into a corner – and out of a job. “Going with the flow” no longer worked and I became stressed and intimidated by my increasingly bleak prospects in life.
However at that time I also met someone I really cared about and who cares for me. Having someone believe in you really makes a huge difference to your thinking.
I took the initiative, made phone calls and persistent enquiries as to job opportunities – and achieved what I’d been told was not possible and non negotiable: I got my old job back!
Unfortunately I found for some reason I was getting very tired, my mind “fuzzy” and was getting easily overwhelmed by any nee situation. I tried working from home, took tablets for the headaches, thinking I was getting the flu… but one day I just had to go home – and the albeit slight reproach I received from my manager was enough to tip me over the edge. I’d never felt anything like it before & never want to again. I was despondent and I was just in a fuzzy “grey” space – and would just zone out thinking the same thoughts over & over: about how this time I would be sacked for sure…
My partner helped. A LOT. She is a counsellor. She is the founder of Pegasus – Men’s Wellbeing Centre CIC!
She talked, encouraged, motivated, befriended and supported me back to 100% health.
I had been encouraged by her to approach my GP, whereupon I was signed off from work as it had been identified (as Beata already had recognised! ) that I was suffering from burnout. I was thus referred for counselling.
However all I received from agency through GP was 2 over-the-phone assessments: it had been deemed my condition did not warrant more… and yet I was far too unwell to really function (no appetite, no energy, poor mental state) let alone return to work…
This greatly frustrated Beata – but she had thus identified a gap in the therapy system, through which I had fallen: i.e. because my condition was not seen as long term, didn’t have a recognised “label”, I was effectively given short-shrift.
This was the inspiration for Pegasus – Men’s Wellbeing Centre CIC: a provision of easily-accessed support & counselling where the criteria to qualify for this is not the “label” of your condition – but simply that you are a man who is suffering.
A man can be less likely to engage in the self-healing behaviours of discussing their situation openly with their peers, where women readily will & do.
This is defined the key area of therapy provision which Pegasus – Men’s Wellbeing Centre CIC is set up to address.